I have to post this because I will forget it.
AG: Okay so what is a Hope Chest?
Me: It is a chest that women used to keep to put things in with the Hope that they would someday marry.
AG: Why do you have one?
Me: My mom gave it to me in hopes I would marry and move out.
AG: What did you keep in it?
Me: All kinds of things, but nothing for when I got married. Linens I think mostly.
Me: It is yours now. You can start working on those fancy crinolins for the big day like on Little House on Prairie. Or saving up and buying China pieces one at a time.
After listening to all of this...
FLO: Why did your Mom want you to move out? Why did you have to be married to move out? Do I get one?
Me: When you turn 13 I will get you one, if you still want one.
FLO: Oh, I still want one, but I am going to keep my man in there. He can stay until I am ready to get married.
Me: I think you will need a rather large Hope Chest to keep a man in.
FLO: NO. I will get him small and he can just grow in there and squeeze.
Me: I am not sure you want a man that lived in a box.
FLO: I do. He will be fine. I will know where he is until we Court.
The ramifications of kidnapping, torture, entrapment, etc. etc. at no point crossed her mind. You should all be very concerned about that. Hide your boys. You only have 3 years.
FLO: Why do we never buy bathing suits at the Thrift Store?
Me: Because it is gross.
FLO: Why do people sell their used underwear and bras at the Thrift Store?
Me: I don't know, but it is gross.
FLO: You would get boob germs if you wear that.
Me: So true, so true.
Everyone should know that we were in a Thrift Store having this conversation and the people near us were checking out used swimsuits. EWwwwww.
FLO: Did you really name me Flo on your blog?
Me: Yes, yes I did.
FLO: Why did you name me that?
Me: Well, many reasons, but number one is because I call you Flo alot.
FLO: You know momma, Flo has a lot of things it means. Like the game Flow on the phone, "like you know a girl kind of f.l.o"(whispering) you talked about the other day, and then just Flo.
Me: Well, you are always my Flo.
FLO: The girl on those commercials does not look like me.
Me: Ay, yes, but you two are on the same wavelength.
FLO: What does that mean?
Me: You think the same.
FLO: I like having my own blog page, like "Dog with a Blog".
(Flo interpretation> I am not going to get anywhere with this, I am accepting it and moving on.)
FLO: "Momma, lets just call my surgery the BTR surgery, okay."
Me: "Why are we calling it that?"
FLO: "Well, I love BTR, and I think I will like the surgery more if we call it that."
Me: "Okay, if you think so we can call it the BTR surgery."
Information for those inquiring minds that happen to be older than the tween crowd:
BTR stands for a band on the Nickolodeon channel called Big Time Rush.
Thank you BTR for making this upcoming surgery a little bit better for Flo.
A QUOTE FROM 2011
FLO: "Momma, Did you know that a tatoo does not interfere with your relationship with God?"
Me: "No, I was not really aware of that, but thanks for telling me."